Sunday

CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR

 

CHURCH BULLETINS 1

1) Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

2) Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

3) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

4) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

5) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

6) Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social.. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

7) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

8) The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

9) Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

10) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

11) A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

 

CHURCH BULLETINS 2

*The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

*The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water". The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus".

*Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

*Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

* The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."

* 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

7 comments:

  1. Hilarious! Thanks for a laugh this Monday morning.

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  2. Gotta love the mis prints. Have a great day my friend. Pat Thanks for the laughs to start my week.

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  3. And it seems spell checkers don\'t work very well when the error results in a real word.  These are really funny.  I love unintentional humor.Peace, Doc

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  4. Super duper, Jan!  This gave me a belly laugh this afternoon as I took a break from..ugh...cleaning.  I\'ve been tearing things apart like crazy and haven\'t been online in days and days.  Still a few more things to do and then I "should" do a blog if something comes to mind.  OH!  Meant to tell you...I "think" I have your cousin, Pat, on my list!  What a sweetie!

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  5. These are so funny, I had tears in my eyes, and couldn\'t catch my breath. Laughing that hard just can\'t be healthy. You have a great space here. Nice to meet you.
    Jay

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  6. These are just tooo funny, Nodope is just as funny. Have a great week.

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