Down to one job, need another part-time. That means...I have time to write! But I'm out of the habit now and not sure I can. Something that's been bothering me more than usual is...It's just TOO MUCH. Everything. News, Information, Technology, groceries, clothes, expectations, EVERYTHING. It all gets mixed up together in my brain until I can't think at all. Everything I come across, if I don't know much about it, I have to look it up. Then often, the more I learn about it, the more upset I get. Fun things are ok, but time consuming. Newsy, informational, scientific, etc...that's what the problem is. I've read so much about our food that I feel paralyzed in the grocery store. Everything I look at, all this information on it runs through my head and I don't want it. Between what it's made of and how it's made, there's not a lot left to eat. Pollution, the negative side of human nature, money, class, poverty...it's enough to make a sane person feel ADHD and an ADHDer nuts. And that's just stuff that affects us directly in our everyday lives.
I think about a simpler lifestyle, mine is simpler already than most of America, but it's still overwhelming to me. I only have an Internet connection a few hours a week, it's off and on and sometimes days before I can connect. I have cable tv, but it's a 13" tv with basic cable, so not a problem of watching too much. This is the first time since 1996 that I haven't had Internet, so it's taking some getting used to, but I'm more productive on the days I don't have it, that's for sure.
I've always been a 'knowledge junkie', but when I was younger that meant a stack of library books every week. Now it means I have to know....now. And then, it's not limiting like a book, it's endless. Look up one thing and it leads to another and another...at least now my connection cuts out so I don't get too carried away. And then, .... what is that bug? Looks like a ladybug with yellow spots....think I can catch it....oh, on other side of the screen, wait....
January already feels like a race, so much to do! How can it be the fifth day of the year and I'm already this far behind? The good part of this is, I have side jobs, and am also submitting a resume tomorrow for a great job. So why am I here blabbing, I mean blogging, instead of tweaking my resume/cover letter? No, I don't know, I'm asking you all why!
Sometimes I just plain can't think.
I've worked every day since I got back from Indiana, that's helped me to not be too sad, missing my grandkids. Noah is 8 weeks old! He's outgrown his newborn clothes already, and he smiles and laughs and coos all the time. He's so happy, and it's impossible to not be happy just looking at him. See?