To Me, when feeling depressed.

  Letter to me, when I'm feeling depressed:

Dear Grumpy Sweetie-Pie,

I know you feel yucky, but I want to remind you that it's okay to feel this way sometimes. Hey, remember when you felt like this for months? Yeah, that wasn't fun. You don't go through that kind of depression now. Just a day or two of hiding under the covers, or a few days of blah, glass is almost empty type of blues. If it's worse than that, sleep, call your therapist, and wait. But the first thing to do, is to take an extra half of a Zoloft, and two Excedrin. Really, the chemicals from being depressed are much worse for you than those.

If you're hiding under the covers, and you don't want to change that, then hey, go with it. Lay there, sleep, eat, cry, whatever. Within an hour or a few hours, you will have a thought of something you'd rather do than lay there. That's when you start feeling better. Get up and start doing whatever it is you thought of.

If you don't want to lay around, then try these things: Read a fiction book, preferably a mystery. Have Pat go get you a couple at the library. Eat something very yummy, preferably with ice cream. Enjoy it. Smile, make yummy sounds, etc. You Deserve Yumminess. Get some of your Sark books out. Say a prayer of thanks. Say a prayer of asking for help. Call Jesse. Don't do what you're 'supposed' to be doing...there's a good chance you're depression is from being overwhelmed with a project or the number of things you 'need' to do. Don't do those right now. Work on your photos, write, make something cool, organize, move stuff, clean your desk, whatever sounds fun.

If you can...shower, dress and go out. Pier One and/or the bookstore always cheer you up. If you can't do that, then put on your baseball cap and ragged jeans and go out anyway. Or just go out in the yard. Look in the shed. Feed the birds. Go see the kids next door.

If you're functioning fairly well, but just very blah/bluesy, go to the bookstore and read, take your laptop with you or to Panera's. Spend a dollar on a bagel, drink water, and they'll be happy to have you. Nah, they're happy to see me even if I just get water. lol. Try to make yourself go to work, no matter what. You can come home if you don't feel better within an hour. Remember all the times you go and within a few minutes, you're involved helping somebody else, and feeling better.

Remember, if you're going to be depressed, do it right. Make sure people who see you know you're depressed. Slouch, walk with your head down. Walk slow, shuffle feet a little if you can do it without tripping, none of this ADHD bouncy stuff...that just ain't right. Don't smile, no matter what. Not even at babies. Okay, that's impossible, go ahead and smile at babies, but don't expect the depression to hang on very long if you're out smiling at babies!

Lost the Instruction Manual

  I haven't been blogging much. Going through a depression, worse than it has been in a couple of years. I know I just have to keep trying, keep doing what I have to, and it will pass. It's hard to do anything I don't have to though. Know what I mean? I don't know what else to do. I don't want to wait until it leaves, I want it gone, now. I don't understand how someone can be one person for 30 years, and then just be kind of...lost, I guess. I could understand a year or so, but I just haven't been able to pull myself together. I feel like such a failure. I think I might need to move away from this area. It probably doesn't have anything to do with it, but I haven't progressed since I've been here. My situation has gotten worse instead of better. Not sure what to do, I want to be near my kids but they are scattered in 3 different states. I'd like to be near them, in Austin or South Bend, but I do not like either of those places. Too hot, too big, too cold, too dismal. I don't know, I guess I thought it might help to write about it. Hey Spacers, where should I move? What should I do? I sure pray a lot about it. Any fortune tellers out there?

Of course there are really great things in my life too though, I don't ever forget that or take it for granted. My kids and grandkids are doing great and bring me a great deal of pleasure. My health is good and my sense of humor is there no matter what. I've never really been so depressed I didn't giggle at stuff. Go figure.

Send me life instructions, I seem to have lost my copy.      jan

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nothing

It's a little bit hard. While working on my organization system, I've come across things I've kept from my well, my past life. Things like photos, journals, and a few decorative things from my house (photo album "Before Kingsport"). I feel like I've lost myself.

I don't have a sense of who I am now. My life completely changed after my husband left me after 27 years together. The way he did it, I lost my house, money and credit. I've had to start all over again, and I just haven't done very well. I go from job to job and just don't function very well. And this is after recovering from major depression. I have some depression, but not a lot, I'm on Zoloft and that is a miracle drug for me.

I'm mostly embarrassed to admit that it's been a long time and I'm still floundering. I've gotten over him, after a horrible couple of years. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want to do. I sound like it just happened, it's been years. Other women pull themselves together and become even better and stronger than they were before. I have people who love me, my kids are incredible, and my brother and his whole family loves me. In a way though, I feel very alone.

I must get myself together and get a good job and save money and take care of loose ends and go to church and help my kids finanacially and become like a real person.

Eeyore's Anxiety

Depressed with tons of anxiety this week. Yuck. I try to let Snoopy and his happy dance, or Tiger and his energy, or Calvin with his ever faithful companion Hobbes and their ADHD antics, serve as my role models. Really, Hillary and Oprah are reaching a little too high for me right now. But no, Eeyore is the only one who will play with me a lot of days. He is kind of cute though. At least I'm not in any danger of loosing my tail, that's for sure.

So, anyway...I need a job that I WANT to go to. I know Googillions of people have jobs they hate, and it might be asking a lot, but I want to WANT to get up and go to work in the mornings. Most mornings, anyway. I'm having to turn down a painting job that I was looking forward to because of my physical limitations right now, and a lot of jobs I've had and liked, are too hard physically now.

I need a stay at home, computer oriented job. What can I do?   Jan