Tuesday

It's All Too Much!

Down to one job, need another part-time. That means...I have time to write! But I'm out of the habit now and not sure I can. Something that's been bothering me more than usual is...It's just TOO MUCH. Everything. News, Information, Technology, groceries, clothes, expectations, EVERYTHING. It all gets mixed up together in my brain until I can't think at all. Everything I come across, if I don't know much about it, I have to look it up. Then often, the more I learn about it, the more upset I get. Fun things are ok, but time consuming. Newsy, informational, scientific, etc...that's what the problem is. I've read so much about our food that I feel paralyzed in the grocery store. Everything I look at, all this information on it runs through my head and I don't want it. Between what it's made of and how it's made, there's not a lot left to eat. Pollution, the negative side of human nature, money, class, poverty...it's enough to make a sane person feel ADHD and an ADHDer nuts. And that's just stuff that affects us directly in our everyday lives.

I think about a simpler lifestyle, mine is simpler already than most of America, but it's still overwhelming to me. I only have an Internet connection a few hours a week, it's off and on and sometimes days before I can connect. I have cable tv, but it's a 13" tv with basic cable, so not a problem of watching too much. This is the first time since 1996 that I haven't had Internet, so it's taking some getting used to, but I'm more productive on the days I don't have it, that's for sure.
I've always been a 'knowledge junkie', but when I was younger that meant a stack of library books every week. Now it means I have to know....now. And then, it's not limiting like a book, it's endless. Look up one thing and it leads to another and another...at least now my connection cuts out so I don't get too carried away. And then, .... what is that bug? Looks like a ladybug with yellow spots....think I can catch it....oh, on other side of the screen, wait....