Live Spaces?

Geez, This was part of a website from Windows Live Spaces. It’s closing and they moved us to WordPress. Nice of ‘em. I think I'd rather have Blogger, but not sure. Certainly open to suggestions! I know everything new like this takes some getting used to, and I’m prone to not like unexpected changes, but so far, I don’t particularly like it. It eliminated most of what I had, and most of the formatting on what it did keep. But, you know, I think I’ll get over it and get used to it. Not really high on my stress list right now. It will just take me a while to set this up.  ~Jan

August New Year’s

      School’s started, new church activities, new friends and opportunities. It seems like this time of year is more like Spring than Spring, and more like the New Year than New Year’s!. For those of us with kids or around kids, I think this has always seemed like the New Year. I find myself wanting new school supplies and new clothes, and it’s been ummm… a ‘while’ since I was in school or had a child in school.

     Does every state have a weekend or more a year where there is no tax on school supplies and clothing? Ours was this weekend, and I got a pair of jeans and a new shirt, plus some pens, markers and a notebook. I’m ready just in case I find a class I can take. I’m taking a free Spanish course online…does that count? I really needed new jeans for that.

     As usual, the clothing I tried on was made much smaller than last year. I don’t know what it is, that every year the sizes shrink. Five years ago I was a size 7 or 8 jeans, or a size 29 in guys. The pants have gotten so small I’m now a size 12 or 13. I took a size 11 in juniors with me, and did get them on…well, they were stuck around my knees, and even hopping up and down tugging on them didn’t make them budge. I kind of fell against the dressing room door while hopping around, and scared the daylights out of the people waiting, good thing it had an actual door and not those curtains a lot of them have, or I would have come through the curtains and ended up on top of one of the ladies from the senior citizen group that had come in on a bus, who were all waiting to try on their beaded, glittery butterfly shirts. (54 is NOT a senior citizen, just because she belongs to the Senior Citizen Center downtown! I don’t even get a discount at McDonald’s yet.) So then, after I recovered, I did get a 12 on, but it took me a long time and I actually laid down on the bench in the dressing room while buttoning and zipping and for some reason my face turned red and I was feeling a little woozy. I may have done permanent damage to my tummy. So, anyway, I got a 14 and felt fine. I don’t want to talk about the shirts.

     Does everyone have their new #2 yellow pencils sharpened??

Technorati Tags: school,church,seasons,clothes,shopping,yellow pencils,tax free,jeans,hopping

Carpet vs. Jan

I'm trying to do a few home projects this weekend. I want to remove the carpeting in my room. I think it's causing problems with my asthma, but when I'm going through asthma stuff, I think everything causes problems. I can't take everything out of my room, so I'm cutting up the carpet a piece at a time. I would not recommend this process for anyone other than a slightly loony asthmatic on heavy pharmaceuticals. Pat walked in earlier, I'm there in the floor with a particle mask on, with sweat running down my face, my reading glasses half falling off, pulling backwards on a stubborn piece of carpet, just as she opened the door, the carpet came up and I went down. haha. Not really funny, I thought.
So, what am I going to do when I get the carpet up? There's only the subfloor, not the old hardwood floors I had hoped for. I can't afford to do anything nice. I might just paint it with floor paint, and later put in new floor cover. At least it would stop the dust and all in the room.

Happy Birthday Girls!

My girls are having birthdays. Lisa was 35 last Saturday, Nicki is 38 today. My son Jesse, turned 30 in January. I'm so proud of them, I could never find the words to explain how I feel. I love them so much, and I wonder why God choose me to bless as their mom. Thank You God. Thank You.

my space is a mess

Geez, I had no idea that big 'ol skydrive box was on the front of my page. That's what I get for not coming around I guess. I feel like I had toilet paper hanging from my shoe and didn't know. I think I got rid of it, not sure yet. I've just been aggrivated over the amount of junk mail and spam I'm getting with this address. I only use it for live spaces.

I still don't know how you all do this with working all the time and kids and life! I miss you!   jan

Bunny Eggs

Happy Easter to you! The Easter Bunny did not come here, but he sent me an email saying to meet him at Target in the morning by the big Clearance sign! Oh Goody! I made a traditional Easter dinner today, and am just taking it easy, enjoying a day off this afternoon. It's in the 70's and sunny, just gorgeous.
The other night on Jay Leno, they had the segment where they ask people outside questions, and that night the questions were about Easter. It's amazing, I know they must have a hundred good answers for every one crazy answer, at least I hope they do. There were quite a few people who were explaining about the Easter Bunny laying eggs. That darn Cadbury bunny, he's totally rewritten biology. lol.

Dizzy

I'm going through my boxes of papers and 'stuff', and throwing things away. I am finally at the point, where it doesn't matter. I don't want it. I kept thinking, this is who I was, I will find my way back there, I will become the way I used to be. Duh, it finally hit on me, no, it doesn't happen like that. It's like the wake of a boat, it's there, it's real, and then it's gone and new wake is there. Constantly changing. You don't go back and look for the wake that you saw before, no matter how much you liked it. It's gone and pay attention because there's a new one. It's ever changing, good, bad, and middle, it just 'is'.

And, another thing is, how can I make room for 'new' if my arms are still full of the 'old'. Put it down, let it go, then there's room for new. That's true even in a very basic sense, whether it's new experiences, ideas, clothing, anything. Even with clothing, I'd feel like, I don't like it, but I can wear it and what if I get rid of it and I can't get another one. I will get another one when it's time. That's it. I'm not going to be naked, I will have clothes. And every single thing I need.

It's harder with my personality and the traits that make or made up who I used to be. But what if, what if, what if....there's not new, there's nothing? That's what I've been afraid of for so long. I had one way to define myself, and I liked it fine, and if I didn't have that, would I even exist? I was so afraid.

I asked God so many times to help me, to let me know what to do, and He was, but I didn't know it. He gently brought me along this path, gave me choices, and helped me and loved me every minute. I fall down a lot, and maybe always will, but He stays right there and helps me up, no matter what I do wrong. I have been working on trusting Him to lead me, trusting that He knows the way when I don't have a clue. I'm trying to let go of all my "but what if's" and just treat each day as if it were a wonderful gift given to me. Because it is.

It's funny, I had an image in my head when I was writing that, of God standing there with his arms folded and a bored, but loving, look on his face while he watched me running around him in circles over and over again, panicking trying to figure everything out and where He was and He was right there beside me, waiting for me to calm down and listen.

I know this stuff sounds weird or very simple to a lot of people, but this has been serious stuff for me. I feel like I stopped running around in circles and I'm very much aware of God being with me. I want to remember I'll probably always get sidetracked and go off looking for Him and not paying attention, but maybe with each time, I'll find my way back faster. As long as I find my way back, I'll be okay.