JOBS

I don't know what to do concerning job hunting. I don't know what I should do. I've done so many things, but most were what I had to do at the time, not anything I'd purposely choose. The only time I knew who I was and what I wanted, was during the years raising my kids. For over 17 of those years, I had a home daycare. I took care of between 3-8 kids, in addition to my own three. I loved it. I made more money that I would have in most other jobs I could do, but mostly, I had to work and it allowed me to be at home raising my own kids. I felt great about taking care of other mom's kids too. I made sure the parents were as comfortable in my home as their kids were. In so many ways it was the perfect job for me. My attention span and energy level is the same as a toddler's so that was an extra bonus! I love love love babies.

Then my life changed, my kids grew up, I went to school and got a B.A. I did social work: domestic violence, abused kids, shelters. I've worked in networking, programming, repairs and tech support for several computer companies, done construction work (skills leftover from early years), worked in retail, restaurants, landscaping, etc. I don't like working in day cares, no money, and I don't like the way they run things.

So, I have no idea what to do now. I've postponed getting anything full-time, I was in an accident a few months ago and have had to let my body heal, but I'm doing well and need to get back out there. Thought maybe if I wrote about it, I'd start figuring things out, but nope, nothing.      Jan 

SIZES

I was changing channels this morning and most of the talk shows had segments on dieting at the same time. It's hard to tell how big someone is on tv. A woman who had lost 75 pounds was a size 6, and another was a size 2. Excuse me, but that seems awfully little to me. The size 6 woman looked average, but I know in real life she would look much smaller. I'd like to be smaller, but I've never wanted to be a size 6 or less. I want a certain amount of physical substance, I was a size 9 from the time I was in the 8th grade, until a couple of years ago. End of marriage...life as I knew it... = EAT. I'd like to be a 9 again. I know how to do it, I know quite a bit about nutrition, calories, exercise, etc. But I don't know about motivation. I need to be more motivated than I am right now, that's for sure. A lot of women have distorted images of what size they really are. Most who do that think they are much larger than they are, I'm the opposite. I'm shocked all over again each time I go shopping and try something on. I think I'm much smaller than I really am. I don't get used to it, I hold a shirt up, think yep, that'll fit. Then I can't get it over my ta-tas. (Oh, I'm so glad I got to use the word ta-tas.) I can't even get the shirt down. And my back, not sure what's going on back there, I can't see it. But maybe I've developed a hunchback, or a growth the size of a third world country, because when I put on a size 12 button up shirt, which for some reason I've decided is my size, it barely will let my arms in it. It's only about 12 inches short of buttoning. They just don't make clothes like they used to. I think it's a conspiracy to sell diet products. I'm not a 'real' size 16 on top, the sizes are just different than they used to be. And my scale's wrong. And...and...and...

I can't buy a suit, or most dresses, I'm a 16 or 18 on top and still a 12 on the bottom. It's a wonder I can stand up straight. Gotta go, it's snacky time.   Jan

Spider Solitaire

I had a good day today. I went to an audition for a play, but I chickened out of reading for it. I told them I'd help with the sound and lighting though. Everyone that came to read was experienced and had done plays with the director before. It's just a little group, so I knew I'd be comfortable.

Then I went to the gym, I usually swim, but didn't today, just used some of the machines. I was in an accident in OCTOBER, and I'm still not completely healed. I haven't been going to the gym except a couple of times to swim a little since then.

Then I ran errands with my cousin, then I came home, then I cleaned out some of my closet, which has been an ongoing project the past few days, then I got something to eat, then I played Spider Solitaire while I talked to my daughter on the phone, then I found an old 3 Musketeers bar in my desk drawer and had to eat it to be sure it was good. If you're still awake, AdvilPM is good.    Jan

FIREDOG

I'm quickly getting to know people on spaces. How very cool. It snowed a little off and on last night and today. But it's too warm to stay long. Mostly a very wet snow. I worked on a resume today. Depressed now.  Everything I read says Don't Lie On Your Resume! It's become obvious to me that I can just not tell the WHOLE truth, by leaving out jobs, and possibly get a job, or I can tell the TRUTH and definitely not get a job. I've never been fired, never had an employer that didn't like me, always had super reviews and move up quickly. But the past couple of years, I've had physical problems that are not problems now that I've had surgery, and I missed a lot of work with those problems. So that will no longer be an issue.

I don't know what I want to do. I want to do Social Work again, counseling and teaching life skillsa and parenting classes, and leading support groups. I worked in a fantastic place in Mukilteo, WA., last year in tech support. I'll write about it another time. Right now, I think I WANNA BE A FIREDOG!   (Circuit City Tech Support!)      J

Sock Puppets

I woke up this morning from a dream about sock puppets. I was creating a commercial - for what I have no idea. I had a whole bunch of sock puppets singing "Sock it to me Baby". I don't think I've thought of that awful song since the 60's, yet there it was in surround sound in my dream. I've never liked sock puppets either. I remember making the commercial and being quite pleased with it though.

Lately I've been working in a fast-food place and living in a really bad apartment in a really bad part of a really bad town in my dreams. Walking through the alleys, going in other apartments, scared all the time. Same places and people every night. and rats rats and more rats

Some day I'll write, "so I dreamed I was a Princess, in a far away land...and I had a horse and a puppy and I got to go shopping at Crate and Barrel every day. And I was oh so happy."

Technorati Tags: dreams,sock puppets,Princess,rats

Priorities?

I need to set priorities.

Currently, I am taking a couple of courses, working part-time painting, building bird houses that I sell, taking care of the house I live in and the people I live with. I live in a room in my cousin's house, and help take care of 3 semi-disabled adults, 3 dogs, a 2 acre yard, do the cooking, cleaning, yard work, laundry, etc...........in exchange for room and board. I'm making almost no money, the part-time job is not going well. I have no vehicle, a headache, and I think a hangnail on this...no, wait a minute, it's the other hand.

I need to eat healthier, loose 30 pounds, get a haircut, and stop slouching. I mostly need a business I can do from home that will pay enough to live on. (and I need to stop ending sentences with prepositions! I just can't help it!) Until I find that, I need a 'real' job and to stop messing around with a few bucks here and there. Until recently, I've worked full-time since I was 16. I owned my own business for 17 years. I've worked at different jobs, and can do a lot of things. This gives me tons of experience and a mess of a resume.

H E L P !

CHURCHES

SUNDAY

Tried yet another church today. The third one of this denomination. Will try another church, another denomination next week. These particular three churches are identical in most ways. They had the same white-haired ushers, with matching suits and glasses. The same congregations in the same clothes, and the same drowsy look on their faces. And, the same peculiar habit of not sitting in the front of the church. In every one, the congregation started about a fourth of the way back, so that all the pews in front of the pastor were empty. Hmmm. And of course the pastors, very nice guys. Same calm, mild, voice, same calm, mild sermons. Great guys, but.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz         J